As I sit here totally freaking out because of turbulence I remembered I had my blogging app on my phone and could do this to calm me down and take my mind off the whole."Attention everyone, uhhhhhhh you will need to sit back down, we have run into some storms and will be experiencing turbulence" situation.
I will just let you know a few important facts I learned while I visited Vegas for the third time.
1) It's hot in August, I mean, like jump into Caesars fountain next to the homeless man bathing hot.
2) Remember that kitschy little "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign that makes an appearance in every Vegas movie? Yeah, that bitch is 1.9 miles from where we stayed. But, we got a pic in front of it, and it's miserable ass walk in heels in August.
3) The last two times I visited Vegas I walked like a crazy person. This time we tried it again. In the last four years, I have apparently aged out of doing that crap!
4) Serendipity 3 and their frozen hot chocolate is pretty much the greatest thing ever. I mean, EVER!!
5) Who has two thumbs and can't even begin to drink like they used too? This girl.
6) Skip the swimming. Our pool was hazy, and I heard two people giggling how they peed In the pool, then the hillbilly who thought it was hilarious spit a loogie Through his spit gap.
7) don't share a story how you watched someone gets robbed, then for laughs try to pickpocket him. Funny after a few drinks...for a second until your husband tells you that he Almost hit you and his chest Hurt. Oops.
8) ride the Deuce after dark. I met a hooker who explained how she conducted her business then she told me that she had worms and she was going to find that fucker who gave them to her.
9) If you see a sign for 99¢ deep fried Oreos (3 in an order) follow that sign, devour and come huge me and explain exactly how they do it so I can do this at home. (Hello heart attack)
10) Seriously if Barry R. Gives you advice on where to stay and where to eat, don't question it. He knows his shit. I like to think I have met my match on knowing good food!
12) I saw a cat with sunglasses on, Alan from the hangover, many transformers, Elmo's, Pooh Bears, SpongeBob, death, Elvis's, Carrot Tops, a real Pete Rose and Dick Butkus. People watch. I can't stress this enough people. Sit. Watch. Enjoy.
14) I'm too old for Vegas. Seriously. No, seriously!
15) ETA: I returned, drank and loved it.